A friend of mine recently hit it off with a man who just so happens to live a three-hour plane ride away. Thats okay, sort of, because he has offered to fly her out, put her up in a hotel, and get her a rental car during her stay, all so he can see her. It sounds like a dream, right? But I cautioned her against taking the trip. I cant help but question the personality and motives of a man ready to drop a couple of grand on someone he *met for 45 minutes*. I, personally, dated a couple of men who were wealthy enough to do things like that and I found one thing common amongst them: they used their money to control the situation. Okay, honestly: they used it to try to control me. Im not saying that all wealthy men are controlling, but those who are quick to use their money to make things go their way (like this man wanting to fund my friends visit) can be. Here are gross ways wealthy men use their money to control the relationship.
In the case of my friend, I can tell her that I took a trip like that once, and quickly found that the guy was annoyed that Id looked up sights I wanted to see and things I wanted to do. He clearly felt that hed paid for the trip so hed be the one planning our activities. I was essentially just a companion hed bought.
Ive seen wealthy men invest in their partners careers by, say, paying for their further education or purchasing equipment for them. But then they felt they had a lot of say in which career moves their partners made.
Its nice when a partner buys you gorgeous couturenobody is denying thatbut when he does so in order to slowly change the way you dress for good, essentiallymolding you into his perfect trophy wife,thatis not okay. And I have seen that happenthe old, Ohyoure wearing that? Why dont you wear some of those other things I bought you instead?
Sadly, and disgustingly, the very wealthy man I briefly dated would say things like, I just paid for yourinsert treatment/trip/equipmentand you cant do me this one favor? Ooooh. So that thing wasnt a giftit was a down payment on something hed ask of me later.
Its pretty despicable when someone buysyousomethingfrom a vehicle to a breast enhancement to a laptopand calls ithis.A gift is a gift.
One friend of mine is married to a man who makes substantially more than herabout four times as muchso, naturally, he pays more of the rent for their rather expensive apartment. However, Ill see that he does nothing to upkeep the home, and seems toexpecther to do everything. Paying more rent shouldnt entitle someone to putting innoeffort around the house.
My wealthy ex was needy of my time. If I had other plans and he wanted to be with me, hed start dangling things in from of me like, If you cancel on your friends we can go to that restaurant you wanted to go to. He tried to purchase my time.
My father is guilty of this one. Hes fairly well-off (he doesnt help me financially at all so, feel free to not hate me) and he doesnt like when his girlfriend works. He has said, I want my girlfriend home, waiting for me when I get off work. So he has started to pay her to do odds and end jobs forhim,to make her available to him at all times.
Surprise, surprise: my wealthy ex was also very jealous and controlling. There were a few times when we went out with other couples, and he felt threatened by the other manenvious in some wayso he used his money to humiliate the guy by buyinghispartners dinner or drinks.
I know several women whose partners bought them their smart phones and pay for their plans. And, in return, they require these women to reply to all of their texts and calls pretty much immediately. If they dont, they hear something like, Why did I buy you that phone if you arent going to pick it up?
On more than one occasion have I seen the wealthy partners of my friends plan/pay for thewomansbirthday party, and then totally take it over, choosing every element of it, because theyre paying for it.
My dad is guilty of this. When he wants his girlfriend to travel with him, if she had plans with someone else, hell just buy that friend a plane ticket too, so everyone is obligated to go along on his trip.
One of the most common ways wealthy partners misuse money is in thinking it can replace actual affection and support. Example; Oh, youre sad? Ill send you to the spa for the day rather than talk to you about it.
Dont hold that this way Dont sit on that Dont use that too much. Sometimes, being in a rich dudes apartment can feel like being in a museum.
I knew what the final straw was with the rich jerk I dated: it was when, during a fight, I suggested we may not be compatible, and he said, Well just see if you can afford all the things I treat you to without me.
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