Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when youve gone too faror when someone else has ulterior motives?

Has Switching to Standard Time Decreased Our Vitamin D Levels?

Is Online Courtship the Safest Way to Arrange a Date?

The Common Infidelity You Didnt Know You Were Committing

The Importance of Self-Disclosure for Parents and Adolescents

Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when youve gone too faror when someone else has ulterior motives?

Has Switching to Standard Time Decreased Our Vitamin D Levels?

Is Online Courtship the Safest Way to Arrange a Date?

The Common Infidelity You Didnt Know You Were Committing

The Importance of Self-Disclosure for Parents and Adolescents

Do women prefer rich men? Stereotypes have long depicted at least some women as placing too much value on a mans wealth and status rather than his character. Now, a new study further investigates how much truth there is to this supposedbias and its possible evolutionary underpinnings.

To what degree do women prioritize a mans income when she is considering whether or not to go out with him? Previous research shows that when it comes to short-termdating, both women and men emphasize good looks. But when it comes to long-term dating, women tend to prefer men with a healthy income and high status. Why should this be? It harkens back to our evolutionary past, according to Parental Investment Theory. Compared to men, women can only have few children, so they need to ensure that their brood will have enough material resources to survive. Thus, they look to men who can more easily provide food, safety and protection. In modern terms, this translates into money and status.

The research on the role wealth plays in mating preferences has admittedly produced mixed results, and is often limited by the method of measurement: paper and pencil questionnaires. As social scientists and conventionalwisdomwill tell you, there can be a big difference between what people say and what people do. How much more consideration would a woman really give a rich, high-status man than his less-affluent peers in a real-life situation? This is the question French researchers Nicolas Gueguen and Lubomir Lamy sought to test.

The investigators devised a clever and rather theatrical experiment, complete with actors, a script, staging, wardrobe and props. They had a male confederate (i.e., an undercover participant) wait in a parked car for an unsuspecting young woman to walk down the street. He then emerged from the vehicle and approached her to solicit a date. But the scientists added a provocative twist. In order to manipulate conspicuous income and social status, the confederate waited for female participants in one of three vehicles of varying value: a new Audi A5 Ambition Luxury (price EUR 58,000 or USD 70,632) for the high-value car; a 1-year-old Renault Mgane (price EUR 24,000 or USD 29,227) for the middle-value car; and a 15-year-old Renault 5 Super Campus (price EUR 800 or USD 974.24) for the low-value car. The investigators wondered, would women be more likely to give their phone number to the guy driving the expensive car?

Six 20-year-old, heterosexual confederates rated as physically appealing by a group of women were recruited for this experiment. The control ofattractivenesswas used because in a previous study, and perhaps not surprisingly, it was difficult for less attractive confederates to get phone numbers from young women on the street. Thus, these good-looking men were specifically selected to participate in order to offset a high refusal rate and to improve the studys chances of success.

The authors performed the experiment in Vannes, France on particularly sunny days at the beginning of summer. They stationed the car in an outdoor parking area near a famous promenade, with the confederates waiting in the drivers seat. They were outfitted in a white shirt, jeans, and sneakers in a style similar to those most young men wear today. Each confederate took a turn in the low, medium and high-status car condition, with 30 female participants per condition. Each car was used for one-half day and in random order.

The confederates approached the first unaccompanied young woman in the target age group (18 to 25 years) who strolled by. The women in the study were randomly selected, without regard to physical appeal, dress, height and so forth. Two male observers, perched on a public bench 50 meters from the scene of the interaction, monitored whether or not the confederates violated any procedural rules when selecting female participants. They did not.

When a potential participant was 2 to 3 meters away from the car, the confederate opened the car door, looked the participant in the eyes and smiled. Then he approached her and said: Hello, my names Antoine. I just want to say that I think youre really pretty. I have to go to work now, but I was wondering if you would give me your phone number. Ill call you later and we can have a drink together somewhere.

After making his request, the confederate was instructed to wait 10 seconds and to gaze and smile at the participant. If the participant accepted the confederates solicitation, the confederate noted down her phone number, said See you soon, and left the participant. If the participant refused, the confederate was instructed to say, Too bad. Its not my day. Have a nice afternoon! and to leave the participant.

So, what did the researchers find? The young women were more likely to give their phone number to a young man who appeared to have more money and elevated status. In the high-status car condition, the confederates could boast getting a young womans phone number 23.3% of the time. By contrast, the middle-status car condition and the low-status car condition saw 12.8% and 7.8% rates of compliance with the phone number request, respectively. These findings suggest that in real-life situations, women are inclined to give high-status men more of a chance.

The authors are sure to point to limitations in their study. To start, it was a bit ambiguous whether it was looks or money that got the girl. In addition, it was unclear whether these women had short- or long-term mating on their minds. As noted earlier, like men, women tend to value a mans physical attractiveness in short-term dating contexts.

That said, these results remain consistent with prior research demonstrating womens interest in a mans income. It also remains coherent with evolutionary theory: In our ancestral environment, it was to a womans advantage to mate with a man with resources since he could provide for both her and her children. But the question remains whether this ancient mating strategy effectively translates in our modern world.

And research shows that women arent the only a companion post, I report on how money influences a mans dating requirements.

More about the Blogger:Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist in Washington, DC, and an expert on relationships, managinganxietyandstress, and building health andresilience. Dr. Mehta provides speaking engagements for your organization andpsychotherapyfor adults.  She has successfully worked with individuals struggling withdepression, anxiety, and life transitions, with a growing specialization in recovery fromtraumaand abuse.

Dr. Mehta is also the author of the forthcoming bookPaleo Love: How Our Stone Age Bodies Complicate Modern Relationships.

You can find Dr. Mehtas otherPsychology Todaypostshere.

You need a study to realize that women are after a guys money and are greedy? Sheesh! Just go to a fancy restaurant or jewelry shop.

You need a study to realize that women are after a guys money and are greedy? Sheesh! Just go to a fancy restaurant or jewelry shop.

The problem is in todays society everything is bent on the idea and logic of observation of scenario rather than just using common sense why….

Its like college a college teacher is conditioned to only accept proof that can only be obtained through a study rather than through critical evidence of natural common knowledge.

Basically it all comes down to the idea if money isnt spent on the research it cant be true cause not enough effort was put into it to clear it as legal tending evidence.

Its all ridiculous bullshit but fact of reality unless money was spent on it its considered just an opinion even if the truth was staring everyone right in the face for free.

In this case, I think a study is useful for a very good reason: there is a persistent myth that women are less shallow than men, one propped up endlessly by pop culture. Film and television consistently depict men as dullards who think with their genitals, and women as enlightened creatures who think only with their hearts.

Look at modern dating. Even if a woman will only date a good looking guy with money, you cant say anything about it. You cant call her shallow; youll get ripped to shreds. She just knows what she wants, is worth it, has high standards, doesnt want to waste her time, etc. Theres a dozen ways to phrase it, none of them negative. If a man will only date a good-looking woman, hes just a pig, and its totally okay to say so.

This is so ingrained in culture that perhaps only a study producing demonstrable facts can counter it.

In your studies, did you find out why some women end up marrying low status, unattractive males? I know quite a few women who have married down because the male individual treated them well. Unfortunately, for most of them, their choice proved to be especially difficult.

It doesnt sound like the confederates were blind to condition. Too bad. Its likely that the men felt more confident when they got out of the expensive car, and this increased their likelihood of getting a date.

Personally, I am completely oblivious to cars. My husband will often ask me, what kind of car does so-and-so drive? Ill respond, um, I think it was white?

For the men and women who choose not to have children, do they still have the same degree of bias? Or could part of are evolutionary psychology be a matter of adapting to circumstance?

If you dont plan of having children shouldnt things like comparability and character become a tad more important than they would have otherwise been?

Male attractiveness to females is in terms of good genes, which are indirectly but strongly indicated by access to or control over resources; so it cannot be concluded that women find attractive a mans income per se. Recent reviews re the basis of pair-bonding show that it is not provisioning by males (see Winking, and Chapais) and, and therefore the good genes rather than resources explanation is favourite in regard to why women find rich men attractive.

The young women were more likely to give their phone number to a young man who appeared to have more money and elevated status. Ask any guy in the world and he could have told you this for free without having to pay for a study. There is a mixture though that counts. For instance would a good looking guy driving a bad car have done better than an average or below average looking guy driving a fancy car? That would make for an interesting study. From what Ive seen men are judged on two things initially–looks and money.

Problem is, its all pretty animistic and stupid. I dont really buy stereotypes, or shallow people. What do I want from a woman?

Well, its not what scientific studies might say. This study makes out like money is the be all and end all of attraction for all women, the same way other studies would suggest that beautiful looks and voluptuous curves (somehow science thinks curves are related to mens built in fertility sensors or some other hogwash) are the be all and end all for male attraction.

In honesty, what do I want more than anything in a woman nowadays? Well, first and foremost, for her not to conform to all this garbage. I dont.

How many studies Ive seen that say a man needs to be tall, handsome, rich, hung and socially powerful in order to attract a mate, like were gorillas in a forest. And its all garbage and worthless when its put in context, for me at least; why the hell would I want to attract a woman who puts value on those things? Shed be the worst partner ever; shed be a shallow idiot that only cares about how much status I have in our modern social construct.

And the same amount of studies Ive seen that say a woman has to be drop-dead gorgeous, thin, full breasted with wide hips etc etc. If I only dated women like that, Id never have dated at all!

To be perfectly honest, its all a lot of crap.

The first girl I fell in love with was flat-chested, short, average looking, poor, had a gap in her front teeth and had the most nervous laugh. But she was real, she was her. Her skin had blemishes and her personality had flaws and shed been hurt and Id been hurt and she wasnt anything like the dolly-girl image that seems to be an idol to so many young girls today. And thats exactly what attracted me to her in the first place.

She was smart, she was witty. She was soft-spoken. Her eyes lit up and she laughed all the time. She had the widest, sincerest, cheesiest grin Ive ever seen and she was engaging and honest.

I dont care what anybody says, any person that bases their relationship, even at the very start, and even at the smallest level, on this social-elitism nonsense is destined to fail, miserably.

To answer the question, I think most (not all) women are shallow, in the sense of allowing themselves to be swayed by all this nonsense. I think behind the modern social facade of a womans emotional superiority to men, there lies a real black and white social calculation and desire for status by proxy. And I think men, in general, are both a mirror and a catalyst for that sense of coldness in choosing a sexual partner. But then there are also the people who see through it all, thankfully.

When all is said and done, the couple who base their relationship on a compassion for the other person rather than an animal lust are going to be the people who come out the happiest and most contented.

Really, if people stopped thinking me, me, me, then thered be a shift in perception and perspective and more people might realize how damaging it is to have the common western outlook on what relationships should be.

I can honestly say that I have no desire to have a woman who values money and status, and I have no desire to base the choosing of my partner on the size of her boobs.

Problem is, its all pretty animistic and stupid. I dont really buy stereotypes, or shallow people. What do I want from a woman?

Well, its not what scientific studies might say. This study makes out like money is the be all and end all of attraction for all women, the same way other studies would suggest that beautiful looks and voluptuous curves (somehow science thinks curves are related to mens built in fertility sensors or some other hogwash) are the be all and end all for male attraction.

In honesty, what do I want more than anything in a woman nowadays? Well, first and foremost, for her not to conform to all this garbage. I dont.

How many studies Ive seen that say a man needs to be tall, handsome, rich, hung and socially powerful in order to attract a mate, like were gorillas in a forest. And its all garbage and worthless when its put in context, for me at least; why the hell would I want to attract a woman who puts value on those things? Shed be the worst partner ever; shed be a shallow idiot that only cares about how much status I have in our modern social construct.

And the same amount of studies Ive seen that say a woman has to be drop-dead gorgeous, thin, full breasted with wide hips etc etc. If I only dated women like that, Id never have dated at all!

To be perfectly honest, its all a lot of crap.

The first girl I fell in love with was flat-chested, short, average looking, poor, had a gap in her front teeth and had the most nervous laugh. But she was real, she was her. Her skin had blemishes and her personality had flaws and shed been hurt and Id been hurt and she wasnt anything like the dolly-girl image that seems to be an idol to so many young girls today. And thats exactly what attracted me to her in the first place.

She was smart, she was witty. She was soft-spoken. Her eyes lit up and she laughed all the time. She had the widest, sincerest, cheesiest grin Ive ever seen and she was engaging and honest.

I dont care what anybody says, any person that bases their relationship, even at the very start, and even at the smallest level, on this social-elitism nonsense is destined to fail, miserably.

To answer the question, I think most (not all) women are shallow, in the sense of allowing themselves to be swayed by all this nonsense. I think behind the modern social facade of a womans emotional superiority to men, there lies a real black and white social calculation and desire for status by proxy. And I think men, in general, are both a mirror and a catalyst for that sense of coldness in choosing a sexual partner. But then there are also the people who see through it all, thankfully.

When all is said and done, the couple who base their relationship on a compassion for the other person rather than an animal lust are going to be the people who come out the happiest and most contented.

Really, if people stopped thinking me, me, me, then thered be a shift in perception and perspective and more people might realize how damaging it is to have the common western outlook on what relationships should be.

I can honestly say that I have no desire to have a woman who values money and status, and I have no desire to base the choosing of my partner on the size of her boobs.

I as a male do not care the type of woman I have as long as I know shes with me for me and cares about me rather than the size of my wallet or the size of my dick. If a woman can prove that neither one of those two matter to her Ill treat her like a goddess. And its very easy to find out what type of woman you are dating too. I can figure out what type of woman a woman is in just by looking at her. How they carry themselves usually represent what they are after. And the deal is sealed when they start talking. Nearly every woman that Ive ever met as a potential date usually gives a sob story needing money. And the sob stories are usually crazy too. And I can never understand as of why youd ask someone you just met or even on first date for money.

In all these cases I know Im being played. But at that moment Im playing her back. I give her all the excuses in the world why I cannot come up with the money for her right that minute and seeing what she does. Usually shell lead on the situation at the point where she actually thinks she can con me. At this point I know for the fact this friendship is dismissed the moment I tell her what I really think. But like I said if youre gonna play me Ill play you back. Make you think youre going to get something when you arent just to see how far she will go see what shell offer. And I always hear the words Ill pay you back! Im like sure…. And this isnt for like 20 or 50 bucks Im being played for hundreds of dollars. One of the dates was for 300 bucks.

Funny thing is I usually end the date by saying I dont have it. When we both walk from the date I never see her again.

So one has to be careful. When someone is asking for money and you barely even know them chances are they are a gold digger and they think you are stupid. Most men do become suckers for a pretty face and teary eyes but smart men see if the women have the money to come for a date and dress nicely they have enough. Besides why are you wasting time and resources dating men if you need money get out and get a job and earn your own.

Hate gold diggers, but good thing is they are extremely easy to spot because they arent too intelligent. Ill take an unattractive girl any day as long as they are taking care of themselves physically and arent letting themselves go.

I dont care if you are flat chested, really short hair, missing teeth, or have a few scars on your body. As long as you arent fat (usually means you sit around eating and dont exercise or anything at all an ex was like this really lazy) You bathe daily, brush your teeth and dont let hair grow where its not supposed to. You know the basics of self hygiene taking care of yourself. Women like this are what I call real women and there isnt enough to go around.

Men want young, virile females with superior genetics and physical shape for the best chance at reproducing strong offspring. (survival of the species). Of course, men find attractive desirable and able to bring them more pleasure (sexual) than less desirable females.

Women want strong, confident men with either lots of resources or the power to garner lots of resources, as resources are essential for survival. Of course, women find resourceful, strong and attractive men to be desirable and able to bring them more pleasure (comfort, safety, security) than less desirable males.

What is interesting is the resentment on both sides, men resenting women who would find them less resourceful and women resenting men who would find them less attractive. Every human being wants to be seen as desirable, and their ego tells them that for many reasons they *are*.

Its for this reason I believe that the ego is an essential component of human mating and reproduction patterns – its the ego which drives humans to seek out the best possible partner their particular mating assets can afford them.

It all boils down to the species giving itself the best possible odds of fending off threats in all of their various forms.

Its a humanistic trap really. Beautiful women throwing away everything they have including their dignity for a rich man that has a string of mistresses and degrades them. So on that account they resent themselves. For being too trashy. too needy. too self disrespecting. for trying too hard to be loved by someone that cannot and has bought them with their riches.

Because they sense the women came. Because they sense the woman came for money and would be gone through the window if the money leaves through the door. in other words inside the house they have a daily reminder of just how much unsupported and insecure their lives are staying with a woman who literary hates and uses them for money and would leave early in the morning if tragedy strikes.

This can only cause resentment and hate for the woman and themselves.

So it wont matter how much makeup she will wear or how short the skirt is the wife will wear. The rich man must cheat on his dependent gold digger.

Tell my london girl I am still looking for money to visit her. to marry her.

What has their criteria for selecting a mate got to do with whether or not they are shallow? You can tell someone, woman or man, is shallow by the way they think in general and the things they say and do on a daily basis. Someone wanting to marry well has nothing to do with how shallow she is.

Your study is not only WAY off about what women look for obviously you didnt study very many women. Your study is extremely off base and more than biased. Try doing a study that interviews more than a few women that arent the typical types there ARE many more women out there that dont base income and looks on whether or not they want to be with a man Jeez lady get your crap straight.

It is real fact that the good old fashioned women years ago really existed and they really did put these very pathetic loser women today to total shame as well.

Good luck with that search, mate! Watch out for all the hamsters, though.

well some women are emmediately onto me to buy them crap.

well some women are emmediately onto me to buy them crap.

They dont see you they see only your wallet. Cut them off all funding or buying gifts they will disappear immediately.

Female preference is not measured by her choice. It is measured by how aroused she is and how strong her orgasm is. That is the true preference.

The evidence is that women dont even know what they want because they will say they are aroused when they are not and deny that they are aroused when they are due to cultural expectations and personal goals…this is evidence of who uses who in heterosexual relationships. The evidence is things like MRI, sweat, heart rate, temperature, etc….things she cant control

Women have been conditioned today to love security rather than the heart.

Women are willing to throw away a good life with a man away who has less money and be with the types that have more money and can buy them stuff and cheat on them at the same time.

Thats why divorce rate is extremely high these days woman told by their parents or any guardian as they grow up to make sure they get with a guy that is rich and be taken care of. Divorces usually come out from either the man knows he has a gold digger and either cheats on her to get back at her or cuts her off all funds. But at the same time she is probably cheating on him most likely way before he finds out.

Or women sometimes get bored with the rich life and wish to experiment on other men to see what she prefers. Bottom line is when a woman marrys for money she is still basically single. She is only securing her future so she never has to work.

Human lust and the greed for money is what has created this contraption for women to fall under. Sure they are usually raised to be like this, but a grown woman is the one that has the power to make a good choice for herself rather than her selfish desires.

So are women shallow…. It would be stereotypical to say all women and I know for the fact not all women are like this. But I would say most city women are shallow yes. As for most country women can be shallow too, but quite a few who grew up on farms know what hard work is and arent afraid to get their hands dirty to make her own living.

So bottom line the best women youll find that are least shallow are either religious women or country women. And the funny thing is Ive been told this by other men aside from my own observation. They say if you want a good girl best place to go would be a church. That you wont find a more noble girl than there.

Its been my personal experience that I would have had a much easier time dating if I had money. Several potential dates faded into the breeze the moment it became clear that I couldnt provide the kind of date that she wanted. If I was lucky, I wasnt insulted by her as she went off to find better prospects.

As the old joke goes, my dating life became so much better when I gave up hope and stopped trying. Why ask for rejection and abuse when avoiding it is so easy?

When it comes to material things, women can be and usually are very shallow.

But when it comes to thoughts and emotions, women are usually very deep and guarded. No woman wants her man to understand her, for it weakens her ability to manipulate and control him.

Vinita Mehta, Ph.D., Ed.M., is a clinical psychologist and journalist. She was formerly the Development Producer and Science Editor of PBSsThis Emotional Life.

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